The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell
by That70sshowlova
Summary: A story documenting the struggles Chris goes through in the changed future as the Elders bestow the gift of other Chris's memories little by little.
1. How it Began

**Author's Note**: I know it's been done before, but I thought it would be fun to write myself.

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_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter one:_

_How it Began_

It started when he was one.

Well, no, you could say it started when he died.

Christopher Perry laid in his mother's bed, faced with his own mortality. He thought it was funny, dying by the hands of an Elder. His mother always thought they were evil. Well, she didn't say evil, per se, more like, "conniving little bastard assholes". Chris had grinned at the thought. His mother swore like a sailor when she was angry.

The humor quickly disappeared, though, when he started to muse what came next. He knew Heaven, or whatever the hell you wanted to call it, existed, but would he go there? He didn't belong in this time. Would he go back to the future? Would he be reborn into mini him, forced to relive his life all over again in a tiny body? What a disgusting thought, being trapped in a baby shell while having the mind of a twenty-three-year-old. Or would he simply not exist? The infant that was making it's way out of Piper's uterus...were they even the same person?

But his thoughts didn't really matter. What mattered was the fact that he died. Leo knelt by his side and Paige stood in the doorway, tears of grief rolling down their faces as the poison finally overcame him and his body faded into nothing.

They were the same person. Adult Chris's essence was merged with infant Chris, his memory wiped clean. Chris got his wish. He got to experience the time line that he changed.

The Elders had stood Up There, proud of themselves. Proud of Christopher. He may have been a Charmed pain in the ass, but he was a noble Charmed pain in the ass. He died for the _world_.

But they soon realized their mistake. Yes, Chris got to experience the time line he changed, but he didn't know that he changed it to begin with.

They took a vote. Return his memories or leave him ignorant.

With the help of some higher powers, they were able to obtain Chris's memories (Although they couldn't watch it themselves, even though they really wanted to).

If you look at it this way, it really started when he died. But then, you could also consider it this way:

It started when he was one. Now, of course, he didn't remember this. Details get fuzzy and they soon slip away all together. But when they first gave him his memories, it was when other Chris was one.

It was nothing significant, really just colors and emotions. He smelled the melting chocolate of cookies and the smell of his mother—cinnamon. That wasn't unusual, he smelled it anyway. What was missing was the cologne of his father. The flash of short blonde/brown hair and the deep coos of a masculine voice.

He didn't remember this. He was one for Christ's sake, but it was how it was started. It was how it began.

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**Author's Note: **Anybody interested?


	2. How it Continued

_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Two:_

_How it Continued_

It happened again when he was two—just a couple months after his birthday. The Elders delivered the memories each year. Think of it as a birthday gift, albeit a belated one.

Chris had a good year. His mother and father were good parents, and his aunts spoiled him. Leo took him and Wyatt to the park. He would swing Wyatt up on his shoulders and Chris would walk on his own, proudly, but still clutch onto his daddy's hand tightly when he walked over bumpy terrain.

Piper would allow Chris into the kitchen while she cooked. She would set him in his high chair and Chris would watch, fascinated as she put ingredients together and how when they came out of the oven, they were completely different products. Chris, having already developed his power of orbing, would orb onto the counter and drop an egg into a mixing bowl. He would smile wide and tilt his head happily as he asked, "I help?" Piper would smile and nod and dab flour onto his nose, which would make him giggle and clap his hands.

Phoebe and Paige would teach Chris how to sneak cookies from the plate, just as they had done for Wyatt. Paige would teach him how to telekinetically orb them from the plate, while Phoebe would teach him how to sneak them with his hands. Henry would take Chris and Wyatt to the police station on a slow day since he didn't have any kids of his own. Chris had no negative _other_ thoughts about this. The only thing he would remember is it happening more often and Henry spending more time with him than Wyatt, almost like he was making up for something. Also, another uncle, although he didn't know who. He had black hair and when he disappeared, it was in pink vapor. But it just made his bond stronger with his aunts and uncle.

But then he would get these feelings, like his daddy wasn't home all day, and when he did come home, he completely ignored him and doted on Wyatt while yelling at Piper about something in a volume so loud, it hurt his ears. He would cry silently and whisper "daddy" until whispering turned to yelling and Leo ran to him and pulled him into his arms. Chris would stare at him in amazement, as if surprised to see he actually came, as if surprise by the manner in which he came. Where were the shiny blue lights? But the thought would flit away from his mind and he would clutch his daddy tightly.

Wyatt and him got along well enough, for siblings. There were times when Wyatt got annoyed, or when Chris refused to share, but they were few and far between. Wyatt was a good brother. He would share willingly and include him in games with his mortal friends and if Chris got hurt, Wyatt didn't panic, but instead healed his booboo and orbed him something sweet from the kitchen. But Chris would become irrationally upset. He would cry from a phantom toy being taken away from him, or a wound that wasn't there. He would think Wyatt would take his toys, but they would still be in his hands. He would think that Wyatt had hit him, and cry at the sharp pain of being pushed down, but he would still be standing and Wyatt would stare in confusion and try to hug Chris, but Chris would push him away. Wyatt would run to get Leo or Piper, but when they asked what was wrong, Chris didn't have an explanation. In his anger, Wyatt would call Chris a cry-baby, which made Chris stare at him with a look far too fearful for a two-year-old that Wyatt would take it immediately back.

It was the same when he was three and four.

It changed when he was five.

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**Author's Note: **The chapters will get progressively longer as the story continues, so...fear not! I'd very much like to publish the third chapter as well today, as I feel it's where the story gets a little more interesting, but I'm not sure yet. Reviews would be lovely, thank you. :)


	3. How it Changed

**Author's Note: **Hey, guys. Happy Halloween. Feel free to leave a comment on whether or not you're going trick or treating, or if you're dressing up, and if so, as what. I'd love to know. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

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_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Three:_

_How it Changed_

He was five when he distinctly recalled what was happening. The visions stopped coming once a year and started coming every day, the Elders deciding it was too much of an information overload to have a years worth of memories dumped on him in a day.

It was his first day of kindergarten. When Piper walked him into the room, it seemed like wonderland. It was a large room with bright blue walls and gray tables centered in the middle. On the wall, to the left of the tables, was a sink with cabinets overhead that held only God knows what. There were toys to the right of the room and in between the tables and the toys was an empty space with a carpet. On one of the walls was a smart board/whiteboard combo. On the opposite wall was a space with hooks where backpacks were already hung up. Near the ceiling (which happened to be painted like fluffy clouds) was the alphabet with pictures of examples of a thing that started with said letter. X is for xylophone! Whatever that is. But most importantly, were all of the kids saying goodbye to their parents. Some looked frightened, some looked excited.

Chris took this all in nervously. What if they took his toys like Wyatt did?...No Wyatt didn't do that. Wyatt never did that. But...at the same time he did. Wyatt _always _did that. Should he take the chance? Chris decided no. He didn't want his toys to be stolen or be shoved to the ground. He decided the best thing to do was to stay away.

The teacher had them introduce themselves and say something about themselves. Chris knew not to say, "I'm a witch!" so when it was his turn, he told them he liked to cook with a hesitant smile. Mrs. Abernathy smiled encouragingly and the class said in unison, "Hi, Chris" in a way that Chris would have liked to mock. Then it was the person next to him's turn.

When the school day came to a close, Chris was ready to happily present Piper the picture he colored in class. He had made it for Leo, but was so proud of his drawing, he left it unmarked, not wanting to ruin the affect. Mrs. Abernathy photocopied pictures from a coloring book and Chris colored in one of a superhero. He ran to his mom and smiled proudly.

"Hi, peanut!" Piper greeted as she knelt by his side. "How was your first day of school?"

Here was his big moment. He opened his mouth and pulled the picture from behind his back, but was interrupted by Mrs. Abernathy.

"Mrs. Halliwell?" Mrs. Abernathy asked. Chris glared at her, but she ignored him.

Piper cocked an eyebrow, apprehensive. "Yes?"

Mrs. Abernathy looked down at Chris. "Chris, sweetie, why don't you go play with the building blocks over there while I talk to your mommy?"

Chris stared up at her suspiciously, and looked to Piper for permission. She nodded and he walked off to another set of toys, still in earshot.

"Is Chris an only child?"

Piper narrowed her eyes and bit out, "Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just, he doesn't play well with others—"

Chris's vision became unfocused as a sense of déjà vu overcame him. _He was standing next to Piper again, and proudly presented his picture. In the corner, in crayon, was written: _To Daddy, Love Chris_ in sloppy hand writing. He didn't want his daddy to get confused that it was from someone else...like Wyatt. Sometimes Wyatt would do that, take Chris's drawings that were for Leo and give them to him, saying he made it. Chris wasn't sure if Wyatt did that to just be mean, or so that Leo would actually give a damn. _

"_Do you think he'll like it?" Chris asked quietly. He knew he wouldn't, but he kept trying. _

_Piper stared at him, her eyes becoming glossy from unshed tears. "Oh, he'll love it, peanut."_

_That was when Mrs. Abernathy walked up and introduced herself. She smiled sweetly down at him. "Chris, sweetie, why don't you go play with the building blocks over there while I talk to your mommy?"_

_Chris narrowed his eyes suspiciously and looked up at Piper for permission. Piper nodded distractedly as she stared at Mrs. Abernathy with apprehension. Chris walked over to the same set of toys again, but listened in._

"_Is Chris an only child?"_

"_Why do you ask?"_

"_Well, I've noticed he doesn't play well with others. He's very withdrawn and refuses to be around anyone."_

_Piper stared at her. "Unbelievable," she muttered. "Now, you listen hear you stupid little—"_

"He's five-years-old!" Piper snapped. "How the hell do you expect him to act? He's a shy kid who's only used to playing with his older brother! Chris, come on, we're leaving."

Chris hurried over to his mother, but couldn't help but look back at his teacher, who was blushing to her roots.

When they got home they went into the kitchen, Wyatt talking excitedly about his first day of school. He plopped down onto one of the chairs at the kitchen table and tele-orbed a cookie from the plate Piper was bringing over to the table.

"Personal gain," Piper reprimanded and took the cookie away from Wyatt. He pouted and she set it onto the plate. "There, now get it."

The pout slipped from his face as he took the same cookie off the plate.

"One day, Wy, you'll have a girlfriend who might not be a witch and you won't be able to do that around her," Leo said from the doorway.

"Ew! I don't want a girlfriend. They have cooties."

Piper smirked. "Yeah, keep tellin' yourself that."

Chris looked at Leo happily. "Daddy!" Chris started to tug the picture out of his backpack that he put there when he and Piper were walking down the hallway to Wyatt's classroom, earlier. His tugging stopped and his vision went blurry as the scene shifted once again.

"_Daddy!" Chris squealed. It was nighttime and Leo had just gotten back from _Up There_. At the same time, Wyatt yelled, "Dad!" and Leo scooped them both into a hug. Before Chris could say anything, Wyatt started to chat animatedly, not letting Chris get a word in edgewise. _

"_Leo, we need to talk," Piper said sternly after she ushered Wyatt and Chris from room, but Chris still stood by the doorway, silently. "You missed dinner today and you _know _how important today is. Chris just started kindergarten—"_

"_Piper—"_

"_Chris called for you, until his voice was hoarse."_

"_I was in a meeting."_

_Piper glared. "Could you hear him?"_

"_Piper—"_

"Could you hear him?!" _Piper snapped._

_Leo nodded slowly. "Yes."_

_Chris blinked away tears and decided he wanted this conversation to end. Chris put on a smile and cleared his throat. "Daddy?"_

_Leo looked his way, grateful. "Hey, bud." The words sounded awkward coming from his mouth._

"_I made you something," Chris murmured as he shuffled his way over. He held up the picture towards Leo and waited for him to say something._

"_Oh, peanut, it's great!" Piper said loudly. She sent a look towards Leo. "Isn't it good, honey?"_

_Leo nodded and gave a smile. "I love it." _

_Chris studied him and Leo shifted nervously. Deciding he passed the test, Chris handed it to him and Leo gave him another hug. "I forgive you."_

_Leo pulled back. "For what?"_

"_For not showing up for dinner," Chris explained. _

"_...Thank you, Chris," Leo said. "I'm going to bring it _Up There _and show it to everyone, I promise."_

_Chris left the room and the yelling started again. When it finally quieted down, Chris walked into the kitchen, ready to give his mom a hug, when he saw his picture on the floor, crumpled._

"Chris?" Wyatt asked. "Are you okay?"

Chris blinked and nodded slowly. He looked at Leo and the looked away. He pulled the picture fully out of his backpack and looked at his mom. He held it out, murmuring quietly, "I made this for you."

Piper complimented the picture and thanked him. She hung it up on the fridge with a smile. "What do you think?"

Personally, Wyatt thought it looked like crap, but he knew he wouldn't have appreciated it at that age if somebody rained on his parade, so he shut up. But, it looked like somebody already rained on Chris's parade.

He was trying to smile, but instead looked crushed and refused to look at Leo.

Leo looked at the picture and spewed off the same comments as Piper. "It's fantastic, bud! Look how well you colored in the lines!"

_Lies_. It was all lies.


	4. How he Realized

_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Four:_

_How he Realized_

He was six when he realized something had to be wrong. These visions or whatever he was seeing, they had to be planted by a demon. It was the only thing that made sense. They were trying to turn him against his family so they could kill him in his vulnerability, which in turn would make the rest of his family vulnerable in their grief and give the demon(s) the chance to kill them and be named the Source of all Evil.

When he finally decided on that conclusion, he orbed to the attic and tugged the book off the pedestal and sat down with it on the couch. He flipped through the pages, reading the entries intently before deciding they didn't fit. He paused at an entry labeled Balthazar. He looked familiar. He read through his description, made a mental note, and continued through the book.

He found a demon that seemed likely, but when he tried to brew a potion, he got it everywhere. He cleaned it up with magic before his mom could notice.

He didn't want to ask his mother for help. He didn't want to burden her. She had been so stressed lately, trying to open up her own restaurant while still maintaining her club. His father and uncle were mortal, his aunt Paige was busy with her new born twins and his aunt Phoebe was extremely depressed. He didn't know why, but had a feeling it had something to do with all of those dates she had been going on. His brother...well, he didn't know exactly why, is was probably those feelings he had been getting since he was young, but he didn't want his brother to help him with magic. He could do this on his own...Sort of. He did need help, so that's when he decided to call upon a...higher power. Asking help from the dead was the best way.

His heart beat fast when he did the spell. It was his first spell without adult supervision. He was afraid he would get caught. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he had trouble with the lighter. Piper would flip if she caught him trying to light candles. She was overprotective like that. Although he didn't know why. He was six for crying out loud! He was old enough to light candles.

When he uttered the last word, he was disappointed when the orbs didn't come. He blew out the candles sadly. So much for help. That was when the pages of the Book flipped in nonexistent wind. He looked at the Book as ink started to appear on a blank page in the back.

_It's not a demon_.

The ink faded, like it had never been there. He sighed, half in disappointment, half in relief. If it wasn't a demon, then what was it? It wasn't anything harmful, he decided. He may have nightmares, and his relationship with his brother and father may have been slightly strained, but he wasn't physically hurt. He had no bruises, no cuts, no bumps. Whatever was happening wasn't dangerous, so he decided to suffer through it.

He calmly cleaned up his mess the mortal way. He put the candles away and scratched at the dried wax on the hardwood. He stood up when he was done and turned around to head towards the door, only to jump in surprise at seeing Wyatt in the doorway. Chris immediately took on a defensive stance, his body tensing and his fingers flexing at his sides.

Wyatt, who could be as intuitive as his aunt Phoebe, raised his eyebrows at his movements. He and his brother got along well. So well, that Wyatt claimed him as his best friend, and Chris did likewise. But he remembered there would be times with his little brother acted strangely, like he was in a completely different world. He didn't space out, but he did act differently. Like now. Wyatt's position was relaxed. He made sure that his posture showed he was harmless, as if trying not to scare an animal away.

Wyatt's head tilted in curiosity. "What were you just doing?"

Chris narrowed his eyes.

Wyatt could have hit himself. He forgot. The question was too intrusive. When Chris acted like this, he let Chris talk first, so as to not arise suspicion. It seemed as if Chris thought Wyatt was out to get him.

"Why do you want to know?"

It was like he was a different person when he resorted to these, as their family described them, fits. He acted far older than he was, as if he was forced to grow up. His eyes watched everything around the room suspiciously. Well, actually, he always acted like that, it was just worse when he went through his "fits."

Chris stared at him, his eyes studying his brother's appearance. It wasn't...it wasn't a vision, he knew that much. This was _his _Wyatt.

Chris slipped into an easy-going smile and Wyatt smiled back as he replied, "Just wondering, Chris," Wyatt said. "I saw you cleaning up candles. Were you doing a spell?"

Chris nodded, silent, until requesting, "Please, Wy, don't tell."

Wyatt looked at his fearful expression. "I won't tell, calm down. Just, next time, ask for my help, okay? I don't want anything happening to you."

"Okay," Chris said. He smiled nervously.

"Sam said I could go over to his house and jump on his trampoline," Wyatt said. Sam was a mortal friend from school, who was in Wyatt's grade. "Do you want to come with me?"

Chris nodded enthusiastically and he and Wyatt ran downstairs.

He was fourteen when he withdrew.

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**Author's Note: **I would really appreciate the reviews, guys. If you could just take the time and tell me if you liked the chapter, or if you're still interested, I'd really appreciate it.


	5. How he Withdrew

_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Five:_

_How he Withdrew_

He didn't want to be that stereotype. The awkward, skinny kid who rebelled from his parents and stayed quiet in school. He didn't go on a rampage, no drugs or alcohol. He was thirteen after all. He couldn't do much. But he didn't talk to his parents, didn't listen to anything they said, especially Leo. He took too much interest into demons and he never looked Wyatt in the eye. Ever.

He had therapy sessions after school. He didn't want go, and he never replied back to the doctor. He sat, staring at his jeans, thinking his dreams through as logically he could. He was a smart kid. He could recite battle strategies that he never even knew he learned. He could cook complex potions in his sleep, potions that weren't in the book. He could cast spells that nobody knew of and that he certainly hadn't invented. He kept his own Book of Shadows between his mattress and box spring. He learned all of these things through _him. _A dream a night, the time line coinciding with his. He kept a dream journal, too. That was tucked under his pillow and concealed with a spell.

Dr. Whatsherface (he never bothered to learn her name) sat quietly, pen poised over paper, as if he would suddenly decide to pour his heart out. Unlikely. His mind ran through the dream, replaying it and replaying it. It was days before his fourteenth birthday, and his mother had been frantic. Wyatt had been gone most of the day, Leo was certainly not there. Phoebe was, though. Helping with the birthday plans and calming his mother's frayed nerves. He had been growing suspicious of his brother, always missing. He had school until three, of course. And then basketball practice. As soon as he got home he ate dinner and locked himself in his room. There were antiorbing spells in his room and secured spells on the lock. Every kid liked their privacy, but this was taking it a little far. Piper was worried, too, but she blamed it on his being a teenager. Funny how close the days compared. He learned the distributive property in Algebra and got yelled at by the hall monitor for being in the hall without a pass yesterday. He wondered if, when he got home, would his day be like his dreams later that night.

"Times up," she murmured. She gave him a soothing smile. "We'll make progress next time, I'm sure."

He gave a noncommittal shrug and quickly left her office. Leo was waiting in the car outside, seeing as Piper refused to let her sons orb as their form of transportation. Maybe because she wanted them to have a normal childhood, or maybe because she wanted Leo to feel as normal as possible, neither of her sons were sure. He hopped in the car, ignoring his father. He had learned how to distinguish between his dreams and reality, but they were so similar and felt so real, sometimes he got confused. It was hard to look him in the eye when he knew what he did. Divorcing his mother in favor of being an Elder, ignoring him, forgetting his birthday parties, only noticing Wyatt. He had time for the whole world, but never for him.

"How was your session?" Leo asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. Staring out the window, he shrugged. Leo sighed and looked over at him. "You've got to give me more than that, bud."

_What did you ever give me?_ He didn't say anything, just continued to stare out the window. Leo was a terrible driver, having been used to orbing, but they made it home in one piece, with only a few obscene hand gestures sent their way.

Hefting his bag onto his shoulder, he slammed the car door shut and made his way to the house. He orbed his bag into his room and walked to the kitchen, to be met with the sight of his mother crying on Phoebe's shoulder. Chris froze, wondering if he had caused this. Had he made his mother cry? It wasn't his intention, he swore! He just couldn't deal with it anymore. Didn't want to try and make conversation with people when he knew what they could potentially do.

"Mom?" he asked.

Piper hastened to back away, wiping her eyes and giving him a watery smile. "Hi, peanut, how was therapy?"

"Fine," he said. "What's wrong?"

She waved her hand around airily. "Me? I'm perfectly fine. Just...you know..."

"That time of the month," Phoebe supplied helpfully.

Chris scrunched his face up in disgust. "Gross." He didn't believe her. Phoebe was the worst liar, ever. Thankfully he didn't get his skills from Phoebe. Ironically, he got them from Leo.

"You excited for your p-party, peanut?" Her voice cracked on the word party, and of course he picked up on it, but nobody commented.

Chris smiled half-heartedly. "Absolutely." Piper gave him a brilliant smile, told him dinner would be ready in an hour, and off he went. He saw Leo's concerned face as he left, and he could hear his mother's sobs as he walked up the stairs.

"I'm so scared, Leo," he heard. Scared of what?

He got his answers days later. The best part about his party was that Victor was able to make it. His cousins had more fun than he did. Eating cake and pulling pranks on one another with their powers. Paige's kids were his favorite cousins, not that he would ever admit it. The twins (Penelope and Grace) were fun to hang around with, never one to talk about feelings, but would rather joke around. Henry was the same way, except he usually had that after school special moment, being more like his father, who was a probational officer. He honestly cared about people. Phoebe had one daughter, who, to put it simply, was kind of spoiled. Phoebe had given up long ago on finding her significant another, and instead finally made up her mind about the donor. Her daughter's name was Prue. She was a sweet kid, but threw temper tantrums when she didn't get her way and didn't play well with others.

He was more than happy to fall asleep later than night, even though he knew he should dread what was to come. Since he got older, the visions stayed mostly in his dreams, not having a tendency to daydream anymore.

_Wyatt actually showed up for his birthday, surprisingly, but disappeared a half an hour in. It was the greatest gift he could ask for. Victor was missing, having died of long cancer when he was younger. Leo wasn't there, and he felt a pang of disappointment. He tried to make the most of it as his family sang him happy birthday and he blew the candles out on his cake._

_He closed his eyes and blew, and then he heard an ear splitting scream. His eyes snapped open and he saw his aunt with an arrow through her chest. She looked down at it in shock, gingerly taking the arrow in her hands and trying to pull it out. She fell to her knees, still cradling the arrow and blood dripping down her chin from her mouth._

"_Everybody with Whitelighter blood, out!" Piper yelled, her hands hovering over Paige's chest uncertainly. Orbs scattered to the ceiling, most of the kids making it out, but the Darklighters that gathering around the room, shot Henry down. All of Phoebe's kids made it out as well, being ordered by their mother. "Wyatt, help me!" Piper screamed, looking wildly around for her son, but he disappeared. She set her eyes on Chris and gave him a desperate look. "Chris, leave!"_

_Chris shook his head weakly and started to run towards her. He heard his aunt Phoebe scream, distantly, in the background as she was stabbed in the heart by a demon. He quickly looked away, choking back the bile. Just as he got to his mother, he saw orbs gather behind her and form into Wyatt. He looked different, scruff on his face, messy hair. He was wearing all black. _

"_Wyatt," Piper said in relief. "Heal her, please!"_

_Wyatt simply smiled and shook his head. "Sorry, Mother." He opened his hand and a dagger appeared in his palm. He curled his fingers around the hilt and, before anybody could say anything, swiftly stabbed her in the stomach. _

_Piper gasped, her hands flying to her abdomen. He felt himself scream and collapse to the floor. "Why?" she choked out. _

"_There is no good or evil, Mother," he answered. "Only power, and those too weak to seek it."_

Chris woke up, sweating. He remembered pressing his hands to his mother's stomach, trying to heal, but unable to, and screaming himself hoarse for his father, who never came when he answered his calls. The first thing he did was puke in the wastebasket underneath his desk and then he took a moment to himself to think things over.

When he got home from school, he enlisted Paige's help on learning to heal. If he thought he couldn't look Wyatt in the eye then, he definitely couldn't now.

He met _her _when he was eighteen.


	6. How He Met Her

**Author's Note: **This is a much longer chapter, most likely my longest, just because I have a soft spot for Bianca and I wanted to describe this a bit more. I hate Chris with OCs and I feel like she's more misunderstood than anything. She only sold him out because she'd rather him be alive than dead. But anyway, I hope you enjoy this. For some reason, this Bianca was strongly influenced by Black Widow from the Avengers.

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_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Six: _

_How he met her_

Wyatt was off to college, getting a medical degree, so much like their father. He still searched for answers on his dreams, performed spells and drank potions to stop them, but they never worked. He had just graduated high school and got some acceptance letters to college himself. Piper was upset that both of her boys were leaving her "nest." Chris thought about taking a year of, 'cause God only knew he needed it, or just going straight to culinary school. He still hadn't made up his mind, but Piper was more than happy to let him stay instead of shipping off to a dorm.

He long since gave up being anti-social. He learned to look Wyatt in the eye, to not arouse suspicion, to ignore the scene playing over and over again in his head, of Wyatt stabbing his mother. Of Wyatt killing Leo. Of Wyatt turning Prue evil and killing Penelope. In his dreams, San Francisco was destroyed. Buildings were tore down, the sky was always filled with oppressing smoke from fires, demons roamed free. Mortals lived in fear, trying to act like everything was okay, to sate Lord Wyatt, but they never knew when a demon would attack them. They tried to restart the witch trials, but Wyatt quickly squashed all chances of that. Wyatt had control of most of North America. None of the other countries seemed too keen to help, which didn't surprise them. Why would they drag themselves into that magical mess willingly? Chris started an underground Resistance. Grace was his second in command. Phoebe's other two children joined, too, Melinda and Patricia. Mortals and witches alike joined the Resistance, even a few trust-worthy demons who didn't appreciate a witch being the Source of all Evil. He was always tired in his dreams, finding a way to take down Wyatt without killing him, vanquishing demons, leading rescue missions.

Outside of his dreams he built a rocky relationship with Leo, a stable one with Piper and Wyatt, and continued to appreciate the joy of having his cousins alive, even if two of Phoebe's kids only existed in his dreams.

Chris spent most of his time killing demons, ones that annoyed him in his dreams and ones that just pissed him off in any universe. His Book of Shadows and his Dream Journal grew so thick he needed to magically conjure new pages.

Currently, Chris sat at the kitchen table, coffee in one hand, _the _Book of Shadows in the other, and by that it meant his hand hovering over pages as they magically searched for a particular demon.

"Really, Chris?" Paige snorted, leaning against the corner.

Chris looked up simply, cocking an eyebrow. "Someone's got to do it."

Piper smacked him lightly with a dishtowel. "Take those sunglasses off." He wore them in his dreams, too. He found he looked too awesome in them to pass up the opportunity. When he first wore them, he had just gotten back from getting a haircut, and hadn't taken off his coat once he got inside. When the Charmed Ones saw him, they literally stopped in their tracks and Phoebe let out a little hysterical giggle. Wyatt had teased him about it, until Chris smacked him upside the head.

Paige couldn't help but wonder when she stopped seeing Chris as her nephew and more as the neurotic Whitelighter from the future. Was it when he hit puberty and shot up so high, Piper had to crane her neck? Or when he got that haircut and started wearing those sunglasses and said things in such a sarcastic manner that it even rivaled her? She didn't know, but the next thing that came out of her mouth made her bite her lip so hard, she drew blood. "Really, Chris. You need to get laid or something."

Chris scrunched his face up in disgust. "Really, Aunt Paige?"

"Yeah," Piper agreed. "Really, Paige?"

Deciding that there was no going back now, she continued, "Well, it's true! When was the last time you went on a date?"

Chris shrugged. "I have more important things to do than get a girlfriend."

"We've all gone through this phase, peanut," Piper said. "Phoebe, Paige and I, we all wanted to be super witch at some point. Even Prue did. But we all learned that we needed to have a normal life, too."

"My witch duties are more important," he said simply. He shut the book, having found what he was looking for, downed the last of his coffee, and slipped his sunglasses back on. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a demon to hunt." He Orbed away without waiting for a response.

Orbing a couple of caves away, he started his trek towards the demon's hideout. He wasn't a high level demon, but he wasn't exactly an easy kill, either. He was red and scaly, and he hunted down witches only to rape them and erase their memories. He would steal the children after the birth and raise them, and then have them kill their mothers years later.

He entered the cave cautiously, hoping for the element of surprise, but there was no demon there, only a pile of ash. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed the woman lying on the floor. Her hair curtained her face, long and brown, but he got a good look at her body, which had a long, gnarled piece of rusty metal protruding from her stomach.

He was unsure if she was a demon or not, maybe a warlock, because she was definitely too human looking to be a demon. He knew he was only basing this off on her black clothes, which he deemed a little racist, so he rushed over to her and brushed the hair back from her face. Her lips were parted, gasping in air, and her face was scrunched up in pain.

"This is going to hurt," he warned as he pulled the metal from her stomach. She let out an ear splitting scream, but he quickly hovered his hands over stomach, healing the wound. It took far too long and he wasn't sure because it was a serious injury or because his magic refused to heal something evil. He had never healed evil before, so he didn't know what it felt like. "It's okay," he murmured as soothingly as he could. He found this misleading, because if he knew anything, it was how things were never okay. He watched his cousins die in his dreams, watched his brother turn evil, watched as the United States was destroyed. But he felt like he needed to reassure her. "You're going to be okay."

He drained a lot of energy healing the wound, but he found it worth it when her large brown eyes opened. "Who are you?" she demanded, suspicion in her voice.

He scoffed. "You're welcome." He stood up and offered his hand to her, which she batted away.

She stood up on her own, conjuring a knife in her hand and holding it out threateningly. He caught sight of a red birthmark on her wrist and made a note to look it up later. "What's a Whitelighter doing in the Underworld?"

He didn't bother to correct her. "Shouldn't you be a little more thankful?" he questioned. "I did just save your life."

She scoffed. "I was fine."

"Uh-huh," he deadpanned.

"What do you want?" she demanded. "Why'd you save me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Maybe because it's my nature. I am a pacifist, after all."

She lowered the dagger. "What's your name?"

"Chris Perry," he lied easily.

She grasped her hand in his. "I owe you a debt, Chris Perry. Thank you."

"You don't owe me anything," he argued.

"Of course I do," she said, as if he were the one being ridiculous. "If you ever need me, you know how to find me."

He could only assume she meant a Whitelighter's ability to find people. Of course she wasn't his charge, but he was a witch, so it didn't really matter. She nodded his way and then shimmered away. Aw, shit. He just saved a demon. A pretty demon, but he'd be damned if he continued the Halliwell tradition of dating evil.

When he Orbed home, Piper let out a gasp as soon as she laid eyes on him. "Christopher, what happened?!" She rushed to his side and gingerly touched his knees and hands, where the girl's blood happened to linger. "Wyatt! Wyatt, come here, your brother needs you!"

The orbs were instantaneous and Wyatt's hands automatically reached out to heal him. "Damn, Chris, what'd you get yourself into?"

Chris slapped their hands away. "It's not mine."

"Demon's?" Piper asked, walking to the sink to wet a rag. She handed it off to him, where he wiped his hands and didn't bother with his pants. They were his designated demon hunting clothes, they had seen worse for wear.

"You could say that," Chris replied. He acknowledged Wyatt. "How's college?"

He looked at Piper and then back at Chris. "Kicking my, uh...butt."

Chris snorted. "Staying for dinner?"

"Absolutely!" Piper stepped in. "I'll make your favorite."

Having something to not look forward to, he left to go to the attic, where he searched for the birthmark on the woman's wrist. Of course, it could just be a tattoo, but it was the closest he had to any clue as to who and what she was. Unfortunately, there was nothing in the book. He knew it front to back, so he wasn't surprised it wasn't there.

The next time he saw her, he managed to find something in a book at Magic School. She was a Phoenix, a neutral assassin that only killed for a price. He wondered if that was what she was doing the day he found her, fulfilling an assignment. The next time he met her, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Unfortunately, it was in a more literal term. His powers has been temporarily shut down from spells in the cave, he used up his potions and his dagger strapped to his calf was unreachable. The demon had him by the throat against the wall, but then his grip released as he fell to the ground, a dagger in his back.

"Debt fulfilled," she commented as she pulled the dagger out and wiped it on her leather pants. She cocked an eyebrow at him. "You sure like the Underworld don't you, Whitelighter?"

He nodded towards the burning body. "Your assignment?"

"No," she answered as she restrapped the dagger to her thigh. "Just in the right place at the right time. Or perhaps the wrong place at the right time?"

Rubbing his neck, he asked, "What's your name?"

She studied his face, while she contemplated telling him. She must have seen something good because she replied with, "Bianca."

"Nice to meet you, Bianca," he said.

She smiled sarcastically. "Lets hope it's the last." She shimmered away after that.

He "met" her in his dreams days later. She was Wyatt's assassin, and she had displeased him. She was his favorite, but despite that, he drove her through a broken piece of metal to teach her a lesson and she had shimmered out with what strength she had left. She shimmered to what would later be known as _their_ spot. The Resistance found her, healed her, and she became their spy. The only reason she was still with Wyatt was because he had enslaved her clan, and if the Resistance stopped him, her clan would be released.

As soon as he finished writing the details down, he looked Bianca up. He used the blood on his pants to scry for her and found her in an apartment across town. She answered the door in blue jeans and a purple blouse, decidedly not black colors, and while it was disappointing that her outfit wasn't as tight, or revealing, he liked seeing colors on her.

"Are you stalking me now?" she questioned.

He ignored her tone and instead asked, "You want to go out for coffee?"

"Isn't that against your Whitelighter rules?" she asked, eyebrow cocked.

He shrugged, a small smile on his face. "Not your typical Whitelighter."

"I can tell," she muttered. She pulled out her phone and checked the time before shrugging and grabbing her coat from the back of the door. Her purse appeared in her hands and she closed the door with a click. "You go out with all of the girls that save your ass?"

He smirked. "Only the cute ones."

And yeah, his life was kind of crap, what with his brother being the Source of all Evil in his dreams, and given, he should probably talk to somebody about that, but he stopped talking to therapists long ago and he was too proud to ask for help, but it seemed like his luck was changing. She was the happiest thing in his dreams, and she was the happiest thing now.

It became a thing, going out for coffee, and at first it was companionship, and his family didn't question him, just happy he was finally getting out of the house for other things that weren't witch related. But then coffee turned into lunch, which turned into dinner, which turned into kissing at her door and when it got to the point where she pulled him into her apartment, he admitted to being part witch, and she got so pissed she threw an energy ball at him, and then he told her he lied about his name and admitted to being a Halliwell and then he had to, unfortunately, leave.

He left her alone until she found him at work and kicked him in the shin, only to pull him by his shirt and kiss him in front of all the customers at the restaurant. The little kids giggled and some older people frowned upon it, but most people aw'ed, until it got so uncomfortable that people had to clear their throats.

"What's this I hear about you kissing some girl in my restaurant?" Piper asked, eyebrow raised, hands on her hips.

Not missing a beat, he set his coffee cup down and replied, "Don't know what you're talking about."

Paige snorted. "Bullshit."

"Don't you have your own house to live in?" Chris asked.

"Not when I hear you tonguing a girl in the middle of work, I don't," was her response.

Phoebe nodded in agreement, her eyes alight. "It's not every day you get a girlfriend." She nudged him teasingly. "What's her name?"

At least Leo or Wyatt weren't here. Or God forbid, his cousins. They'd only make it worse. It was hard to believe it could get any worse.

"Bianca."

The name all sounded familiar to them, but they couldn't put their fingers on it, so they ignored it and plunged on.

"When are we going to meet her?" Piper asked.

"Hopefully never."

"Next week, then?" Piper continued.

"I'll talk to her about it, okay?" Chris negotiated. Maybe he wanted to keep her all to himself, or maybe he just had a feeling she wouldn't like them or they wouldn't like her. Probably the latter, she was an assassin after all, but he didn't give a damn. Every time in his visions when she risked her life to get information to them, every minute he spent with her outside of his dreams, it made his outlook on life that much better. He stopped dwelling on finding answer to his dreams and just enjoyed being alive.

"No," Bianca said immediately.

Chris rubbed at his growing headache. "How'd I know you were going to say that?"

"Because they're the _Charmed Ones, _Chris. I grew up on bedtime stories of their terrifying accomplishments and warnings to never get on their wrong side. I'm going to say something stupid and before you know it, I'll be in tiny Bianca bits on the floor."

"I would never let her do that," he assured. "Trust me, I don't want to do this either, but you left us no choice."

She stared at him incredulously. "_I _left us no choice?"

"You were the one who forced yourself onto me in the middle of work."

"Only because you lied to me!"

He gave her a dubious look. "Can you blame me? Have you _met _my family. Oh, wait, that's right..."

"I hate you," she grumbled. He took that as a yes and kissed her.

Wyatt had to show up for dinner, claiming he wouldn't believe it until he saw it. His aunts showed up, so of course their children came, too. His parents were obvious. So basically, he had ten people in the room interrogating his girlfriend. Awesome.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized in advance as he opened the door for her.

Paige's drop dropped when she saw her. "No fucking way..."

Chris wasn't sure if that was a compliment or an insult. Like, she was so beautiful, or she was so beautiful, how did he get her? But for some reason, he deemed it neither when both Piper, Phoebe, and Leo all had the same response.

They tried not to arouse suspicion, but they immediately went to go conference in the kitchen, leaving all of his cousins to stare at Bianca. Henry, feeling out of the loop, joined his wife in the other room.

"So..." Henry junior started out conversationally. "Why are you with him?" He pointed a fork in Chris's direction.

Everybody snickered until Bianca replied, straight faced, "Good in bed."

Chris smirked down at his plate and took her hand under the table. And then his parents returned from the kitchen, flocked by his aunts and uncle. And then Bianca was interrogated awkwardly.

"How'd you two meet?" Piper questioned.

"He saved my life."

"Aw!" Phoebe squealed, until she was no so discreetly kicked under the table and yelled out, "Son of a bitch!" Everybody stared at her until she mumbled, "Turrets."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

Wyatt nearly choked. "Holy shit!"

And other such evasive questions and inappropriate responses. It somehow turned out okay, and Bianca didn't dump him, much to his mother's annoyance.

He found out about the _Other Chris _when he was twenty-three.


	7. How He Found Out

**Warnings: **Lots of swearing in this chapter that some of you may not be comfortable with. I would change the rating to M, but it's really only this chapter, so there's no point. Also, unbetaed and I did not proofread. So any mistakes, sorry. Point them out if you'd like so I can fix them.

**Author's Note: **Happy Thanksgiving, to whoever celebrates it. Some of you disagree with the age I set for Chris going into the past. I think I set it to the actor's age at that time, but to be honest, it was kind of this universal thing that a lot of other writer's use as well, so I just went with it. Sorry for the delay, writer's block/laziness. Without further ado, Chris flippin' shit:

* * *

_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell:**_

_ Chapter Seven: _

_How He Found Out_

"_Don't tell them anything. Just stick to the cover story. The less they know about the future, the better."_

_Of course he knew this. He did the extensive research, he knew the consequences, but he let her remind him, because she was doing it more for herself than for him. She was scared. He was scared, too. Scared it might not work, scared of leaving her in the future, scared of seeing his family alive. _

"_But what if they find out who I really am?" he murmured, his fears getting to him. He was a fantastic liar, but he could never lie to his family. _

"_They won't," she reassured. "Not as long as you can pass yourself off as their whitelighter."_

"_And you're sure I won't lose my powers when I go back?" He was stalling. She knew it._

"_Not with this spell, that's why we need it. Look, just remember, protect baby Wyatt and you protect the Charmed Ones. Keep them alive for our future."_

_He would do that. He would do it for his future, for her future, for everybody's future. He would stop Wyatt. Because he swore, if he couldn't save him, he'd kill him. While he worked on summoning the book, she started the time travel spell. _

"_It's time," she murmured, stepping back from the attic wall. _

_He knew this, and pulled her to him. "I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you."_

_She stepped back and started to tug at her finger, at the engagement ring he gave her. "Here," she said, handing him the ring. "This will remind you of why we're doing this, what's waiting for you here."_

_He hugged her again. He could do this. He could go to the past and pretend like they meant nothing to him, like they were just the Charmed Ones, not the family who raised him, who died for him. _

"_Just make sure you take care of the guards, okay? Then get out of here. Because if he finds you, if he knows you betrayed him, he'll kill you." _

_She smiled. "Don't worry. I can take care of myself."_

_He nodded, assured, and walked over to the chalked wall. He looked at the ripped out page from the Book and started to recite. Just as he began, guards broke into the attic. But Bianca ordered him to continue and he did, because she could take care of herself. He walked into the portal, not looking back._

His eyes flashed open and he was breathing hard. His hand shot out, grabbing at the sheets next to him, his hand finding warm flesh and he breathed in relief.

"Chris?" Bianca murmured, alert immediately. She sat up, worry in her voice. "What's wrong?"

He rubbed at his aching head, trying to send her a reassuring smile. "Just a bad dream."

She frowned, but relaxed slightly. "Again? You want to talk about it?"

"It was stupid."

She scoffed. "Something that makes you act like this isn't stupid." She reached out to him, touching his bare shoulder. "Talk to me."

Granted, he should talk about this. He knew he should tell someone, especially Bianca. But it scared him. Ever since he was little it scared him. Plus his complex wouldn't let him. He was too proud. He could deal with this on his own, he wouldn't drag anyone down with him.

"It's fine. Do you want coffee?" He started to crawl out of bed. "I think I'm going to get a cup coffee."

"It's four o'clock in the morning."

"Maybe two."

She fell against the bed, letting out a sigh. "No sugar."

He grinned. "Of course."

_Differentiating between the two wasn't as hard as he imagined. When he orbed in to save Phoebe, she didn't look remotely like the one he knew. Short hair and halter tops, he didn't think so. His Phoebe was sophisticated, long hair always pinned back, blazers and reading glasses, because after years of squinting at computer screens her eyes became strained. They acted similar, but this Phoebe was immature. Despite Paige being in mortal danger, she checked out his ass, which was extremely disturbing. _

_Piper was a joke. Marriage problems that made her short temper worse, taking it out on everyone around her, especially Chris. All she cared about was family, Wyatt and Leo, her sisters. Not that she didn't before he died, but it was all she cared about. She cared more about her social life than innocents' well beings. She had dropped her pretensions about being normal long ago when she was his mother and he was her youngest. Family always came first, and it's something she instilled in her sons, but witch duties were important. They weren't a nuisance, being a witch was something to be proud of, it was who they were. _

_Paige was harder. She had always been the fun aunt, the one who considered being a witch important and a part of their heritage they should acknowledge. But she was a redhead, boy crazy, and more importantly, not a warrior. His Paige was strong, years of being a witch making her efficient and tough. She was the one who taught him potions, who could name all level potions in alphabetical order. Her humor was still the same, though, and sometimes, he found himself slipping into a regular banter. _

_Leo was to be expected. Pretentious and barely there. But that was his doing, of course. It was a good thing he wasn't there, that the only time he stopped by was to see Wyatt. He didn't need him up his ass. He was already suspicious enough, what with allowing the Elders to die. It's not like he personally killed them himself, it was vital. Leo needed to step up, to take control of the situation. He wanted to change the future as little as possible. He was saving fucking America and part of Canada by doing this, so of course things were going to change, but if he could affect their life as little as possible up to Wyatt going bat shit crazy..._

_Speaking of him, when he first saw him, it was hard to breathe. He had seen pictures of when he was young, but it was nothing compared to the real thing. Chubby cheeked, wide blue eyes and curly blonde hair. Unaffected by whatever had gotten to him, his hands clean of blood. It was hard to think of killing him at this point, seeing how young and innocent he was. How could he kill something so pure? No, he would save him, if it was the last thing he did._

"I'm concerned about him," Bianca revealed. She hated coming to the Charmed Ones for help, especially because for some reason, they didn't like her. They didn't love her, but they didn't hate her either. Phoebe and Paige, not as much, but Piper. It was like every time she looked at her, her face read, '_I'll put up with you for now, because I'm sure this is just a phase.' _But she wasn't really coming to the Charmed Ones, was she? She was coming to her boyfriend's mother, concerned for his well being.

"Chris?" Piper asked, annoyed that Bianca was insinuating she knew what was best for her son. "He's always been like that." Denying it wasn't the best thing, but she was pissed that Bianca had noticed something she didn't, that she had called her out on something. She was a good mother, dammit!

Bianca shook her head, not convinced. "He hasn't been eating, he's lost ten pounds. He can't sleep, and every time he does, he has nightmares. When he doesn't sleep, he'll completely zone out, sometimes for hours at a time. I can't do anything to snap him out of it. It's scaring me. I think he needs to go to a therapist."

"It didn't work the first time," Piper replied.

Bianca shook her head. "He's twenty four. He was a teenager when he went the first time, of course he's not going to cooperate at that age. He just...He won't talk to me and I don't know what to do."

"My son's fine," Piper snapped. "He had a perfectly happy childhood—"

"I'm not saying that he didn't!"

"And I refuse to sit here and listen to you try to tell me how to raise my son."

"Piper—"

She stood up, cutting her off. "No. Please, just leave."

_He was exhausted. Trying to convince the Charmed Ones (because they certainly weren't his family, not yet, at least) to take a spare minute of their time to vanquish demons, and then pathetically waiting for the slightest change in his memories, fighting the demons himself when they refused, and then giving up completely on waiting for an alteration in his memories. Eventually, he just killed them continuously, not waiting, and if something changed, then great. Nothing ever did. _

"What the hell are you doing?!" Chris exclaimed, having been shoved up against their apartment wall, a knife to his neck.

Bianca glared. "This is the only way I can get your attention anymore, Chris!"

"By attacking me? With a _butter knife_?!" He started to orb, but she grasped a hold of the lights, planting him firmly on the ground. "Shit! You know how much that hurts!"

She shook her head. "I'm just trying to help and I know this may seem a little crazy—"

"A little?" he interrupted, incredulous.

She continued on as if she hadn't heard him. "But this seems like the only way I can ever get your attention anymore. The only time you're ever alert is when you're in danger. You've lost so much weight, and your not sleeping, you zone out all the time. I'm scared and worried and—and—" She paused, sucking in oxygen, preventing the tears in her eyes. Because goddamit she cared about him! More than anything else in the world and the way he was acting was terrifying her. "And I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Bianca," he murmured after a minute of silence. "I'm sorry. I didn't know..."

She turned away, letting the knife fall from his neck. She threw it to the ground, where it stuck between the floorboards of the kitchen. She wiped at the tears from her eyes. "Goddamit, Chris," she growled. "I love you." And it may not have been the first time she said it, but they didn't say it often to one another, which showed how serious the situation was between them. "And I want you to be happy. But you're obviously not."

He walked up behind her, laying a tentative hand on her shoulder. "I'm fine—"

She turned around, glaring at him. "Don't lie to me."

He frowned. "You're right. I'm not fine." And here was the perfect chance for him to tell her everything. Everything that had been happening for as long as he could remember. The twisted dreams, fucked up situations where his brother was evil, the confusing emotions he had as a child, everything. But he didn't. Because he was scared, too. "But I will be. I don't know when, or how, but...I will be."

She shook her head, not out of disbelief, but exhaustion. She was about to wipe at her eyes, but he beat her to it. She never liked it when he did things for her, especially simple tasks she could do on her own, if not better. She found it demeaning. He liked that about her. But there were those times where the situation called for it. Her emotional side craved it. He usually knew when to do it, too, which was what she loved about him. So she let him wipe her eyes and she burrowed her head into his chest, hugging him tightly around the waist. "I love you."

"I know," he murmured. "I love you, too."

_Leo had a tendency to follow him around. He couldn't blame him, well he could, actually, and he did, but it wasn't fair. He set himself up. He was a fantastic liar, but sometimes, the lies became too much and people became suspicious. Namely, Leo. He didn't like Chris and had no problem hiding that fact. He didn't like that he hid the information about the Elders dying, he didn't like the fact that he became the Charmed One's whitelighter, he didn't like his secrets, him being from the future, he didn't like him sneaking around, he didn't like him in general._

_They found out he was taking an empath blocking potion because of Leo's spying. It didn't go over very well. The sisters were too distracted by Paige's new lust, and the magical baggage that came with it as well as Phoebe's new power. _

_Chris had gotten the sister's back on track by getting them to drink the potion as well, and sarcastically, he said, "Looks like we're one big happy family again."_

"_We're not family," Leo said coldly._

_It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. He shouldn't have allowed it to bother him. This wasn't even his Leo, and even if it was, Chris openly admitted to Leo being a sperm doner, and that was it. But it still hurt._

"_We're not family." It kept repeating over and over and over—_

"We're not family."

Leo flinched. "Chris, why would you say something like that?"

Chris narrowed his eyes. "That's what you said to me only a couple of weeks ago, right, Leo? We're not family."

"Leo..." he echoed, upset.

"How many times do I have to tell you this? I didn't send you to Valhalla! I'm sick of you following me around like I'm some untrustworthy teenager. Like I'm rebelling kid!"

Leo frowned. "What are you talking about, Chris?" He took a hesitant step forward, placing his hand firmly on his son's shoulder.

Chris blinked, confused. It was like when he was young again. He hadn't confused the dreams with reality since he was in elementary school. Except this was worse, way worse. He completely overlooked the obvious graying hair, the wrinkles. He was just so annoyed with everyone asking him if he was okay, that he didn't look all right, and all of a sudden, it was like he was in 2004, with Leo up his ass about that goddamn Valhalla fiasco.

He recovered quickly, though, giving a loose grin. "One too many beers, I guess. Haven't had much sleep lately, either. Tired and hungover," he supplied, stepping backward with each step, until he hit the door and orbed out.

"_I had to."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because the only reason I came here was to keep Wyatt from turning evil." There, he said it, that wasn't too hard. _

_Leo frowned. "Turning evil?"_

"_Wait," Paige interrupted. "Don't you mean stopping evil from hurting him?"_

_Because that was the lie they fed him, and it was so easy to believe, too. Evil was always after Wyatt, and who wouldn't travel back in time to save the Twice Blessed, the most powerful witch in the world? Even a stranger would. _

"_I didn't think you'd help me if you knew the truth. I knew you wouldn't. The evil from the future I came back to stop isn't a demon. It's Wyatt." He could already see the disbelief forming on their faces. _

_Piper automatically snapped, "You're lying."_

"_No, I'm not," he replied. "He's gonna grow up and terrorize people with his powers, take over. Kill, even."_

"_Why should we believe you after all the lies?" Leo, of course, said this. Because out of all of them, he trusted Chris the least._

"_Because you have to."_

_Piper glared. "No, Chris, we don't, actually."_

_It burned, but he continued on anyway. "Fine, then don't. Either way, we need to save Wyatt now and I'm the one who knows how to do it."_

"_Really?" Phoebe asked. "How?"_

"_The Order. They used their powers to turn him, to reverse his morality. See, he thinks bad is good now, and good is bad. That's why his shield repelled you."_

"_So?" Leo retorted._

"_So Wyatt brings his shield up around me. He thinks I'm a threat."_

_Piper glared._**_ "_**_Yeah, so do I."_

**"**_Listen to me, they reversed his sense of morality. That means his shield will protect him from you but not from me. Please, I'm the only one who can save him. Let me help."_

**"**_Chris, we don't need your help. I will get my son back, and when I do, I don't want to see you anymore."_

He couldn't look his mother in the eye. Every time he did, all her heard was that. '_I don't want to see you anymore.'_

And then he started to have dreams of Bianca. Where she came to the past, stole his powers, and dragged him to the future to his brother. And when he refused to join, and Bianca started to panic, Chris and Wyatt fought. Which ended in Bianca being impaled on a jagged piece of wood. Funny how they kept meeting like that, wasn't it? He watched his girlfriend/fiancee die by the hands of his brother. He couldn't look Wyatt in the eye anymore, either.

Phoebe found out who he was. He almost wasn't born, having been so caught up in saving Wyatt that he forgot about his own creation.. And then Paige found out, too. He got infected by a demon and beat the shit out of his own father, which was more satisfying that it should have been.

And then they found out who turned Wyatt evil. An elder. A motherfucking elder. Who killed him. And in his dream, as he lay dying on the bed, wondering of heaven and hell and how he would be reborn, he snapped.

Wyatt, sensing distress, Orbed in to find Chris trashing his apartment. When he noticed his older brother, he started to yell. Things that made no sense to Wyatt. Ravings of him being evil, of killing Bianca, of killing cousins he had never heard of. Confused beyond belief, he orbed Chris to the manor, which only escalated matters.

"I fucking hate you!" Chris yelled.

Both Leo and Piper looked at him with confusion. He pointed a trembling finger at Leo. "You fucking dick! First you completely ignore me my whole goddamn life and then when I try to fucking save your pride and joy of a firstborn, all I'm met is with suspicion? You had time for Wyatt, Piper, the whole goddamn world, yet you couldn't look at me once! I try to save that piece of shit you call a son, who killed not only you, but Piper as well, and you have the audacity to say I'm not family?"

And then he turned to Piper. "You never want to see me again? I save your goddamn son from evil, and you never want to fucking _see _me again? I had to put up with your shit about your fucking social life, your marriage problems with Leo, and you're fucking contempt over everything I did. I saved your son, for Christ's sake! The only reason you put up with me at the end was because you found out I was related to you and you felt obligated."

Neither of them could react as he fell to the floor, tears streaming down his pale face. He croaked, "Did either of you actually love me? You never liked me before, but now that I'm your son, you reluctantly put up with me. I—I just...Please," he begged. "Tell me. Did you actually love me?"

Leo nor Piper could respond to that, either from confusion or shock or a combination of the both.

"Oh God," he moaned, shaking his head, gripping at his hair. "What's happening to me?" Piper slowly slid to the floor, tentatively touching his arm, but he flinched and glared at her. "Don't touch me!"

"Peanut," Piper whispered.

"Don't call me that." There was no yelling, just a cold calm that scared her even more than when he was yelling. He stood up quickly, causing Piper to shrink back. He gave them all one last final look before orbing away.

* * *

**Author's Note: **There's probably going to be a part two to this chapter, but at the moment, writer's block has struck again and reviews always give me inspiration. So I thought I would post this, get motivated, and then continue with the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.


	8. How he found Out: Part II

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the delay, guys! I hope you like it! :)

* * *

_**The Internal Struggles of Christopher Halliwell**_

_Chapter Eight:_

_How he found Out_

_Part Two_

"What the hell did you do to my son?!" Piper screamed up at the ceiling. After twenty years, it was pure instinct to blame the Elders. It was usually their fault. The fact that they weren't answering, that one of them hadn't orbed into the living room to calm her down, made her all the more suspicious. "Come on you meddling bastards! I know you can hear me!"

Leo stood up and stepped in front of her, halting her pacing. He placed a hand on her shoulder, making sure he had her attention. "I think we need to focus on the matter at hand."

She glared. "I _am _focusing on the matter at hand! I will not have them destroy my life anymore! You don't mess with my family and get away with it!"

"How do you know it was the Elders? It could have been a demon." He placed his other hand on her shoulder and caught her gaze again. "We need to stop blaming the Elders for everything and instead focus on finding Chris."

Wyatt was confused. He didn't understand what was happening with his baby brother, and he was more than ready to place the blame on the Elders, but he agreed with his dad, knowing they had to find Chris and figure out what was wrong, not go yell at the Elders for what they might not have done. Emphasis on the might. "He's blocking me," he spoke up to his parents. He frowned. "I didn't know he could even do that."

Piper took a deep breath and turned to her oldest. "Do you know where he is? Where does he go when he's angry?"

He gave his mother a doubtful look. "We're not that close."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, taken aback.

Surprised he asked, "You haven't noticed? Mom, he's never been comfortable around me. He doesn't tell me these types of things."

"Comfortable?" Piper repeated. "_Comfortable? _You two are siblings! You can't get more comfortable than that!"

"Piper," Leo once again interrupted, placing a calm hand on her shoulder, to which she shook off. "Now's not the time." He turned to Wyatt. "Who would know?"

He bit his lip. "You're not going to like it."

* * *

"Chris," Bianca murmured. He was at their spot, sitting on the bench, his head in his hands. She quietly sat down next to him and took his hand in hers. "Talk to me."

He looked up, tears of frustration running down his face. "You betrayed me."

"How?" she asked simply.

He used his free hand to run at his aching temples. "You took me to Wyatt."

Playing along, she explained, "It was for your own good."

"What I was doing was good for the _world_!" he snapped. But his anger quickly disappeared. "I remember this happening, but at the same time, I don't." He gripped his hair in annoyance, angry at himself for not knowing. "Why am I feeling this way? I'm so confused."

She wrapped her arm around his waist, pulling herself to him. "I know, baby. I know. We're going to fix this. Your parents are talking to the Elders and your aunts and Wyatt—"

"Wyatt?" Chris interrupted. He shook his head, pulling away from her. "I can't trust him." His uncertainty vanishing as quickly as it came, confidence taking place.

"Why can't you?"

He glared. "Have you completely forgotten? Has he brainwashed you again? He's killed thousands of innocents. He's killed his own family! How am I supposed to trust him?"

"You trust me, don't you?" she asked. He nodded his head. "Then _trust _me on this. Okay? Wyatt would _never _hurt you, or his family." She smiled reassuringly. "Besides, I would always have your back if he were to ever do that."

"No!" he yelled, standing up. She nearly jumped, having not been prepared for his outburst. "I will not go through that again! Last time you did that you were impaled on a broken piece of wood." He shook his head and started pacing. "I'm not going through your death again."

She frowned and stood up, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Chris," she said, concern in her voice. She looked him in the eye, making sure he was listening to her, _seeing_ her. "Baby, I'm _right _here."

He blinked. "I—I know. B-But I saw you..."

Worried more than before, she slid her hand off his shoulder and into his hand. "I know, baby. Come on. We're going to get you help."

He narrowed his eyes, suspicious. He slipped out of her grasp. He shook his head. "I—no. No. You're going to take me to Wyatt."

"Baby—"

Before she knew it, his orbs were flying upward in the air and she was too late to grab them.

* * *

"All right, you pretentious assholes, what'd you do to my son?!"

None of them were surprised to find Piper Halliwell Up There, but it didn't mean they liked it. They had been preparing for it for years. They were surprised it hadn't happened sooner.

She was so close minded. She didn't realize that what they had done was a good thing. Giving Christopher those memories, they not only helped him become the leader he was meant to be, but made him aware of the greatness he had done. Piper, though, she would never realize that

"We don't know what you're talking about, Piper," Sandra spoke up.

But at the same time, Odin explained, "It was for the best."

"How do _you_ decide what is best for _my_ son?!" Piper demanded, walking forward angrily, her hands twitching. "Where do you get off?!" Her hands flicked and three nearby columns blew up, causing numerous Elders to duck. But neither Sandra nor Odin flinched, having expected it. Leo gave her a look, but she ignored it.

"To be fair, you never wanted him as your son in the first place," one Elder reminded.

Piper and Leo froze, hurt at what the Elders were suggesting, and silently wondering if it was true. No. _It wasn't_. They were good parents! Piper's anger heightened even more, which didn't seem possible at first. "How _dare_ you." Her voice was deadly calm. Leo wasn't far behind in seconding that. "What did you _do to him_?"

Sandra decided to keep her mouth shut from that point on. Even though the Charmed Ones were a pain, they did more good than bad, and she had taken a liking to them over the years, and their offspring. In doing so, she realized when to _not poke the bear. _Odin, however, detested them ever since they gained their powers back. He thought they could do nothing right and were more of a nuisance than anything. Not poking the bear was a lesson he never learned.

"We had to take the responsibility in our own hands, seeing as you would never tell him. You wanted to forget what happened in 2004. You wanted to pretend it never happened. We couldn't allow that! We took on the parental responsibility _you didn't want to deal with_."

Leo, utterly mortal, couldn't blow them up, couldn't orb them inside an erupting volcano, he couldn't have predicted this in a million years like Phoebe. But he had been in a war and he could throw a damn good punch. Next thing he knew, his knuckles were throbbing and Odin was on the floor, looking up in shock at the barbaric of it all. Everybody else stood in shock as well, until Piper started to laugh. She shook her head and latched onto Leo's arm. She sent one last glare to the Elders.

Piper could only assume what they did to Chris. They told him. Everything. "Don't you _ever_ do anything like this again. Or see what happens." She then called Paige's name and they vanished in orbs.

Once they were gone, the Elders were at a standstill, not knowing what to do or say.

Odin glared as best he could around his swelling eye. "Somebody heal this!"

* * *

Bianca wasn't stupid. She was an assassin for crying out loud. Her job was to hightail people, to figure out every little quirk, and then let it be their downfall. She knew where Chris was going, and he didn't seem all that surprised when she found him on the Bridge, sitting on the ledge, letting his legs swing.

"It's like my head's a jigsaw puzzle, and I had every piece in the right place, but then all of a sudden I find more pieces that don't go anywhere and I don't know what to do."

Bianca was never one for philosophizing, finding it a waste of time, but she mustered all of the strength she had and offered, "Maybe it's time to start a new puzzle."

"What does that even _mean_?" he asked.

She laughed and shook her head. "I don't know. To be honest, I barely understood what you said. I don't know what's happening to you, Chris, but I _promise _you, I _will _find out. Piper and Leo went to talk to the Elders and your aunts are looking through the Book. Why don't we go back to the Manor and find out what's wrong?"

He nodded slowly. "Okay."

* * *

"Do you think we're bad parents?" was what Piper first said as soon as she landed in the attic.

"No!" Phoebe and Paige protested. "Why would you even ask that?" Phoebe continued, concerned.

"Because we didn't tell Chris or Wyatt the truth."

Phoebe shook her head. "It would have traumatized them that young."

"Oh God," Piper moaned. "We made it so much worse by ignoring it."

Phoebe gave them a quizzical look. "How did you do that?"

"The Elders _told him_."

Wyatt, walking through the doorway, asked, "Told who what? Chris? The Elders told Chris what."

"Nothing, Wyatt," Piper replied breezily. She ran a hand through her hair and smoothed down her shirt. "Did you find anything in the book?"

"Piper," Leo whispered. "You just said you made it worse by not saying anything. We should tell him. We need to tell him. He deserves to know what his brother did for him."

He gave them a look. "What did Chris do for me?"

"We should tell them together," Piper stalled.

"Chris already knows."

She nodded. "Exactly! That's why he should be here, to explain…it better." The nod turned into a shake of her head. She gripped the roots of her hair. "Oh, God, I can't do this. They shouldn't have to go through this! This is why Chris went back, so they wouldn't have to know. So they could live a better life and they're going to have to suffer through knowing everything that happened."

Leo caught her gaze and gently pulled her hands out of her hair. "I know, Piper, I know. The Elders are right—" she glared. "—we need to take on the responsibility. They deserve to know."

"Who deserves to know what?" a voice spoke up behind Leo.

Piper started to cry in relief. "Chris!" She ran over to him, taking his face into her hands, inspecting every inch of his face, and then moving on to other visible skin. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Chris muttered, squirming awkwardly.

"Oh, peanut," she murmured. "I know how independent you are, but we're here for you. I know what they told you must have been a shock, but—"

"What are you talking about?" Both Chris and Wyatt asked.

She frowned and took a step back. "The Elders, of course."

"What do they have to do with all of this? You think they did this to me?"

Wyatt growled in frustration. "What is _this_?" He spun on his heels and pointed a finger at Chris. "What's wrong, man? Why can't you just trust me? I'm your brother!"

"Because you killed everyone I loved!" Chris yelled. "Mom, Aunt Phoebe, Aunt Paige, Henry! You killed all of them on my birthday. Then you tortured Melinda until she died of blood loss and brain washed Prue a-and you killed Bianca." He shook his head as his confidence wavered, mostly all of the people he claimed dead, alive. The cousins weren't there, their parents not allowing them to be. But what about Melinda, where was she? "Where's Melinda?" he croaked.

Piper, of course, thought of the little girl she saw years ago in an alternative future. The little girl who had to hide her heritage or be killed, the little girl whose parents were divorced. "Who's Melinda?"

"Phoebe's oldest."

Phoebe frowned in concern. "Chris, sweetie, I only have one child."

"I know," he snapped impatiently. He started to pace. "In my head, it's like a jigsaw puzzle—"

"Ooh, no," Paige interrupted. "No analogies. Say it straight to us, Chris. You got schizophrenia?"

He glared. "No! I don't!" He paused. "At least I don't think I do. I remember growing up. I remember Dad taking me to the park and you guys teaching me how to sneak cookies and Wyatt being the best brother ever. But then every year I'd get these memories where Dad really wasn't there, and everyone would spend so much time with me to compensate for that and then Wyatt would push me and shove me. And then on my fourteenth birthday he killed everyone. And he became the Source of all Evil and he completely took over America and Canada. He told mortals who we were and let demons roam free. And so I went back in time to save him from turning evil—"

They all let out a little gasp. "Oh God," Piper moaned. "They didn't tell him what happened, they gave him the memories."

"I don't know what's real and what's not," he finished. His eyes started to water in frustration. "I need help."

Piper shook her head. "Oh, peanut, no you don't. We haven't been completely honest with you." She looked at Wyatt. "Either of you."

So they went to the kitchen, where she made tea and the rest of them impatiently waited for the story. Chris and Wyatt listened quietly the first five minutes. Piper, Paige, and Phoebe told the story, with Leo interjecting when he could, but he wasn't around much when Chris had traveled back. Chris silently compared what he knew with what they knew and it matched up too well for it to be a demon messing with his head. So it was true. And then he started to pace, and Wyatt blew some things up. Paige and Leo finished the story in tears because they were the only two to witness him dying.

"I'm so sorry we didn't tell you sooner," Piper apologized desperately. "Please forgive us."

Wyatt shook his head and rubbed a weary hand over his face. He simply orbed away. Wyatt may not have known Chris well, but Chris knew Wyatt inside and out, each version of him. He was too paranoid; he had to know his enemy well. And he knew exactly where he was going. The Underworld.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I lied. This is going to be a three-parter. The reason is this chapter's getting a little lengthy, plus, the next chapter would start off nicely with them in the Underworld. Reviews would be lovely. I finally acquired Microsoft Word. Does my chapter look better in a grammatical sense? There's quite a bit of fragments, but I liked the way I wrote them and didn't want to have to add on or adjust.


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